I'm sat here, admittedly at home, just finishing off some work. I actually have lots more to do but I have just had a realisation that apart from driving I have actually been working constantly for 12 hours!
Suprisingly I'm not feeling bad about this, actually I think I may have found my work mojo and despite all the bits I don't like and the various difficulties I suspect I might actually be starting to enjoy my job. Bizarrely I am nervous about even thinking that, let alone writing it down. Its very important to me that I am motivated and inspired by my job and so far I haven't liked this one much at all. The people are great, which has kept me going, but maybe I'm getting into my stride.
Now the only problem is my inbuilt need to be liked and respected, I so need to get over that cos at the end of the day the people I'm working with now are always going to find reasons to bitch and moan and I'll never be as good as "so and so" despite the fact that they moaned about them at the time too. Anyway I musn't let it get me down, they don't "know" me and hence it doesn't really matter!
PS does anyone think it a bit weird that I am actually considering working till 20.15 cos then it would be exactly 12 hours?
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Ahhhh and relax!
I've just been for a swim followed by a short session in the steam room. I'd forgotten how good a nice gentle swim can make you feel, especially if you also have a bracing motorbike ride home afterwards!
I love this time of year, or rather, I love this sort of cold crisp bright sort of weather. Inviting enough to get you outside but also with the potential for cosying up inside afterwards. I also find it mystifying how quickly it seems to get dark, rather like someone has dropped a blanket over a light.
Before I get too poetic, see swimming is good (or bad depending on your view point), the actual point of this post was about the fact that the strangest things can make you relaxed.
Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting some of the lovely fashion girls, including Sandancer and Lomie. It was a great day and many cocktails were drunk, and as before the highlight was putting real people to the names on the screen. Whilst it is slightly nerve wracking in that whole "making friends, what if they don't like me" kind of way, the relaxing part comes when you realise that you feel quickly relaxed with people that you already have a "link" with even if you do end up feeling slightly stalkerish for explaining that you have been baseing your recent explorations into films on the comments of someone you only knew the online name of :o)
I love this time of year, or rather, I love this sort of cold crisp bright sort of weather. Inviting enough to get you outside but also with the potential for cosying up inside afterwards. I also find it mystifying how quickly it seems to get dark, rather like someone has dropped a blanket over a light.
Before I get too poetic, see swimming is good (or bad depending on your view point), the actual point of this post was about the fact that the strangest things can make you relaxed.
Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting some of the lovely fashion girls, including Sandancer and Lomie. It was a great day and many cocktails were drunk, and as before the highlight was putting real people to the names on the screen. Whilst it is slightly nerve wracking in that whole "making friends, what if they don't like me" kind of way, the relaxing part comes when you realise that you feel quickly relaxed with people that you already have a "link" with even if you do end up feeling slightly stalkerish for explaining that you have been baseing your recent explorations into films on the comments of someone you only knew the online name of :o)
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
I did it!
I finally reached the big 30 at the weekend, and I am very proud of myself because I didn't freak out in the slightest.
It seems strange, but I really thought I would find it a big deal. I'm in a place which I am not very happy with, on both work and home fronts, but on the other hand I've had some fantastic times lately and I'm feeling an awful lot better.
I've also taken up pilates which I love! I've wanted to do it for ages and finally managed to find a class which fits with my schedule, it also led to me making an empowering decision to put something I wanted to do at a higher priority than my job. So every monday I leave work at 4pm to get to the class in time :o)
To celebrate my birthday I went with a big gang of assorted friends to Dans Le Noir? in Clerkenwell. It was organised by my friend who was sharing the celebrations with me, and it was a great experience, freaky but great! Thankfully we managed to avoid the temptations of a karoke bar when the pub closed!
I have a number of things I plan to do "for me" in the next few months. I'm going to write them here as a reminder and commitment;
It seems strange, but I really thought I would find it a big deal. I'm in a place which I am not very happy with, on both work and home fronts, but on the other hand I've had some fantastic times lately and I'm feeling an awful lot better.
I've also taken up pilates which I love! I've wanted to do it for ages and finally managed to find a class which fits with my schedule, it also led to me making an empowering decision to put something I wanted to do at a higher priority than my job. So every monday I leave work at 4pm to get to the class in time :o)
To celebrate my birthday I went with a big gang of assorted friends to Dans Le Noir? in Clerkenwell. It was organised by my friend who was sharing the celebrations with me, and it was a great experience, freaky but great! Thankfully we managed to avoid the temptations of a karoke bar when the pub closed!
I have a number of things I plan to do "for me" in the next few months. I'm going to write them here as a reminder and commitment;
- Go and see some films when the new Picture House cinema opens, even if I go on my own!
- Blog more
- Sign up for a camera course, I now have a good set up but really feel I'm not making the most of it
- Continue with the Pilates
- Spend time in London doing things I want to do (including the meet I'm going to on Saturday)
I've realised I need balance in my life, I tend to throw myself too much into one thing, whether that is work or study or relationships, and subsume my own wants and needs. For me to be really content and fulfilled I need all the bits! So here's to a new way forward for my 30's!
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